Okay, certainly I am not the only one who feels this way but it seems that lately I feel guilty for every decision I make regarding Price......
I take him to preschool - he gets sick the first day. I take him to the doctor and let him tell me it's the croup caused by his reflux when really I didn't agree....but I didn't say anything......
He goes back to school Tuesday and GUESS WHAT??? He's sick again! This time with projectile vomiting. He won't eat, he just wants to be held and sleep. I have another doctors appointment at 3:20 today so hopefully we can get him better soon.
I guess I am just feeling guilty because this preschool thing is really more for me then him......it means that I get 3 hours, 2 days a week to clean, grocery shop, make appointments or just have an early lunch with friends. It means more to me then him. I am struggling with taking him out of the program but is that the right thing to do??
All this leads to me feeling bad about not breast feeding longer because maybe if I had breast fed longer then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be getting so sick. For those of you who don't already know this......Price wouldn't latch on. He was taken away from me as soon as he was born because he had low respirations and his heart rate was high and wasn't brought back to me until 9 hours later. He wouldn't latch on at all and pumping and breast feeding are just not the same. I pumped for 3.5 weeks (while still having to give him formula because he ate a lot!) and then thought I would lose my mind and quit. Now, I find myself feeling guilty about that decision I made over a year ago.
I am sure this is the beginning of a long line of mommy guilt, but I just had to vent!!
This parenting thing is hard, but I still love every minute of it.........even now as I smell the faint scent of vomit somewhere on my shirt mingled in with the matching snot stains Price left me!! I LOVE IT!!
Mommy and Mags date night
4 days ago
5 comments:
I think we will second guess ourselves as parents until we leave this earth.
Even when they are in high school should we let Price and Griffin stay out till 10 or 10:30? Should we of let them go to that get toghether?
As far as the breast feeding thing. What elese could you of done? You have to look at it as the past and take one day as it comes. I am no pro but this is what has helped me!
This guilt just makes you a mom!
You are doing a terrific job! And the school is also for him to interact and to have different surrounds. We are all human and need some alone time! 2-3 hrs 2 days a week is nothing. Just enough to take a breath! Love you and miss you!
You are doing a great job. I think it's great that he's in preschool, and it is not just for you. He needs to be around other kids before he starts school, so he won't be that weird kid! Hang in there!
Oh! Poor Ash-
I always second guess myself about things I do for Peyton and I do not think that will ever change. I second guess myself everyday as to whether I should have peyton in some sort of Pre K program, and the only reason that I have not done it is because I am not ready. I ask myself all the time am I making him suffer just so I do not have to go through leaving him with people that I do not know. The breasfeeding thing did not work for me either and Peyton has not really been sick that much but when he gets sick I do the same thing you are doing, but if is does not work it soes not work and that does not make you a bad mommy. Parenting is the hardest job we will ever have and that is why it is so wonderful to have friends that are facing the same struggles. You are a great Mommy and do not ever think you are not!
AShley
Girl, don't feel guilty! If it makes you feel any better, Trent (my youngest) I breastfed him for 8 months and he has BAD allergies! Sinus and food! He is has a very bad allergy to cow's milk and also wakes up every a.m. croupy and coughing seems all the time! Dr. gave him allegra, but doesn't help! They say if you breast feed, everything is great w/ their immune system, but that is wrong. And, Emma (my oldest) I could only breast feed her for 4 months, and she was hardly ever sick! Go figure! Anyways, hang in there, things will get better!
Ash....You're scaring me!!! I went and looked at my first daycare yesterday to go ahead and get on list and I cried the whole way home!
I think you're a great mom! You'd go anything for Price and that's all that matters. Don't feel bad about needing a few hours a week to have some "me" time.
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