The lyrics to the Casting Crowns song, "Praise you in this storm" keep going thru my head. I am in the middle of a storm but I know that the Lord is in control and no matter how sad I feel, he knows what is best for my life and I trust him.
On Monday I went to the doctor for my 16 week OB Checkup and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I had to go to Lexington Medical Center for a dnc. I am recovering but I am sad.
My plan didn't work out. The Lord has another plan in store for our family, and for that I am thankful. But it is hard to see the big picture at the moment when my heart is so heavy.
I got to see the baby by ultrasound on Monday and it looked so perfect. Perfect face, perfect arms and legs. Perfect baby. I chose not to find out the sex because that would have made it more real. It was hard enough.
Thank you for everyone who has called, your cards, your flowers, your emails, and most of all your prayers. This Thanksgiving I will spend my energy being THANKFUL for the wonderful family and friends I have.
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17 comments:
My Dear Ashley,
My thoughts have been with you. I know that you didn't want to know the gender, but God laid the name Grace on me as I read your post, because His Grace is Sufficient and now Baby Grace is with Him in His arms. I'll call you soon. I love you!
My thoughts and prayers have been with you since I heard the news. I am so so so sorry!!! You are right, God does have a plan that is bigger and better!!
Oh Ashley, I am so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am so thankful that you have turned to and will trust God during this storm. He will do great and mighty things in your life as a result of this.
Ashley, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I was catching up on my blogs tonight and actually didn't even realize you were expecting again. I have been where you are today. I know the emptiness that you are feeling. I miss by baby every single day, but we can rest knowing that our babies are with Jesus and we will spend eternity with them. It has been almost 2 years since we said Hello and goodbye to Carter but it feels like it was just yesterday. My heart is hurting for you tonight Ashley. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or if you need me to meet you to talk or get your feelings out. I am praying for peace for you and know that I am here if you need me.
Love and prayers Ashley!
We are praying for all of you.
Ashley, I'm so sorry to hear about your family's loss. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling, but I do know God is all knowing and that He has a plan, a perfect plan for each one of us. We will keep you in our prayers and thoughts. May the Lord bring you peace and comfort. Love, Sarah, Chad, Meredith and Lauren Paynter
i love you & your sweet family!! i have been praying for you constantly. i know He will carry you through this storm.
Ashley--
I lift my eyes unto the hills...where does my help come from, My help comes from the Lord...I cannot speak to you about loss, because I have not experienced it first hand, but I have experienced not being able to have a child. I hurt for your loss and I was sad to read about it. All I can believe (for the both of us) is that God knows and sees and has a plan and to be in His perfect will is peace and rest. I am praying for you! Jennifer and Meredith
Bless your sweet heart! I know that you feel so broken right now, but I am so thankful that you know Jesus and that YOU KNOW He will bring you through this! He will bring you through this with an even greater appreciation for the miracle of life! We are praying you through this hard time and will be there in any way you need us! Love you!!!
I got the email from Betsy and I'm so sorry to hear about the baby! I can only imagine how hard it must be. What a blessing though that you already have two healthy boys and that God has such a neat plan for your family. Stay strong my friend. Our prayers are with you. Love you!
Ashley I had no idea! I would have called...I am so sorry, I am certainly praying for you and your family.
Ashley, I am so so sorry. Thinking and praying for you and the family.
I also live in Lexington and I'm friends with Carrie Moore. I read your last entry and I wanted you to know that I've been praying for you.
The Leviners
Ashley,
I am soo terribly sorry for what has happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during all of this.
Ashley, I am very sorry for your loss.
Ashley, I JUST found out about your news. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You will be in my prayers during the holidays. May His plan be revealed to you in the New Year.
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